Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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