Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
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