I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
