Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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