I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
