I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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