if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
