he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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