Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
