You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
