I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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