But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize