He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
