Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
