Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
