alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
