watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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