The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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