i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
