Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize