that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
