no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
