Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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