..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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