I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
it's like heaven, but drunker
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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