I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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