i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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