Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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