i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
