Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
