I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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