Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
