take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
