Define "chronic" masturbator.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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