Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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