at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
