found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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