You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I fill condoms, not promises.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
