Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
