i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize