He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
