Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
