Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
