I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
