six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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