party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
she smelled like a LAN party
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
