I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
