non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
