My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
We're too hungover to prance.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
