Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
