Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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