I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
