Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize