Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
