Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
