Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
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